He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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