It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
