There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
