went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
