I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
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