Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
