I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
