absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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