found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
