Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize