meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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