it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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