Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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