I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize