Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
