Im at strip club and am horny
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
