What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
