Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
