If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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