I would go down on you faster than GM stock
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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