What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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