I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
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