Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
