that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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