just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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