I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
