i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
