Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
