Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
