I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
