on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
