also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
