Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
