did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
