this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
