im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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