Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
