Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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