Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
