How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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