Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
