Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
