Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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