Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
