This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
