I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The best revenge is premature balding
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
