The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
