"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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