oh god the rape fog is back!
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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