thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
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