I think my vagina is haunted
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize