his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
