Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
