That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
