She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
