I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
