I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
