tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
