We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Randomize
